If you’ve recently joined a network marketing company, there’s a good chance you’ve heard some version of this advice:
Make a list of everyone you know.
Friends. Family. Coworkers. Neighbors. Former classmates. People in your phone. People you haven’t spoken to in ten years.
Then start contacting them.
I’ve been involved in network and affiliate marketing since 2002, and I was fortunate that my first sponsor never taught me to build my business that way.
Instead, from day one, he taught me something that ultimately changed my life:
How to generate leads.
That distinction matters.
Because if your goal is to make an extra $100 or $200 a month selling products you genuinely love, sharing them naturally with people you know may be perfectly reasonable.
But if your goal is to build a significant network marketing income, I wouldn’t build that business around friends and family.
After 24 years in this industry, I believe there’s a much better approach.
Learn how to attract people who are already interested in what you can help them accomplish.
Let me explain why.
I Never Made the Traditional Friends-and-Family List
I joined my first network marketing company in September 2002.
At the time, I was legally blind and working a small part-time job at a department store during the midnight shift.
My sponsor could have told me to write down everyone I knew and start calling them.
He didn’t.
He immediately started teaching me how to generate leads online.
Looking back, I’m incredibly grateful for that.
I was excited about my new business, though, so naturally I talked about it.
Some of my coworkers knew what I was doing. Most were fairly neutral about it, while a couple thought I was nuts and called it a pyramid scheme.
That changed the day I walked into the office and gave them my two weeks’ notice.
Apparently quitting your job has a way of making people slightly more curious about the crazy internet thing you’ve been talking about.
I also shared the products with my mom and sister. They purchased some and used them, largely because they wanted to support me.
But I realized something pretty quickly:
If I had depended entirely on friends and family, I probably would have made about $25 a month.
Instead, because I learned how to generate leads from people outside my personal circle, within approximately six months I was earning more than $5,000 per month online.
That experience shaped how I’ve looked at network marketing ever since.
The Fundamental Problem With Recruiting Friends and Family
You’ve probably heard the argument:
“Everybody knows 300–500 people.”
Maybe that’s true.
But there’s a gigantic hole in that logic.
You don’t necessarily know 300–500 people who trust your business recommendations.
And more importantly:
You don’t know 300–500 people who are looking for a network marketing business.
That’s the fundamental problem.
I’ve always thought about it this way.
Imagine opening a boat dealership.
You make a list of 300 friends, relatives, former coworkers and acquaintances.
Then you start calling them:
“Hey, I just opened a boat dealership. Would you like to buy a boat?”
Your cousin doesn’t want a boat.
Your old coworker doesn’t want a boat.
Your neighbor gets seasick.
Your sister would rather spend her money on a vacation.
That doesn’t mean boats are a bad product.
It means you’re talking to the wrong people.
A successful boat dealership needs to get in front of people who actually want boats.
Why should your network marketing business be any different?
Your Friends and Family Aren’t Necessarily Prospects
Your mom may love you.
Your best friend may trust you.
Your sister may genuinely want you to succeed.
None of that means they’re looking for a business.
And even if they’re interested in earning extra money, that doesn’t mean they’re interested in a home-based business.
And even if they’re interested in a home-based business, that doesn’t mean they want to build one through network marketing.
Those are completely different things.
This is why I believe targeting is so important.
I’d much rather talk to someone who searched:
“How can I make money in network marketing?”
than randomly call someone I’ve known since high school who has never expressed the slightest interest in entrepreneurship.
The first person raised their hand.
The second didn’t.
What I’ve Seen Happen With the Friends-and-Family Approach
When I started in the early 2000s, approaching your warm market was still one of the dominant strategies taught in network marketing.
There were books full of recruiting scripts.
People practiced what to say.
They learned responses to objections.
They were taught how to get someone on the phone, how to invite them to a meeting, how to present the opportunity and how to follow up.
And from what I personally observed, very few people actually enjoyed doing it.
I remember one woman who did reasonably well initially.
She built a small team of perhaps 12–15 people through people she knew.
There was just one problem.
None of them really did anything.
The strategy didn’t duplicate.
Most other people I encountered had an experience closer to mine.
They were excited, so they naturally told people about what they were doing.
Maybe a family member purchased a product to support them.
But very few built a significant organization that way.
As the internet evolved and attraction marketing became more common, I began hearing something completely different from prospects.
People would flat-out tell me:
“I’m not telling a single person I know about this.”
That always made me laugh a little, but I understood exactly where they were coming from.
People didn’t want to become that person.
The friend everyone avoids because every conversation somehow ends with a business pitch.
Does That Mean You Should Never Talk to Friends and Family?
No.
There’s a huge difference between naturally sharing something and systematically working through a list of everyone you’ve ever met.
In 24 years, I’ve never made a habit of pitching my business or products to friends and family.
If the subject naturally comes up, that’s different.
If someone asks what you’re doing, tell them.
If someone has a problem your product might genuinely help solve, there’s nothing wrong with mentioning it.
If someone tells you they’re looking for a way to earn additional income, obviously you can explain what you’re doing.
My own mom eventually joined me in my network marketing business.
But here’s the interesting part:
It happened approximately nine years after I started.
I didn’t spend nine years trying to recruit her.
She knew what I did. Eventually she developed an interest herself and decided to get involved.
She stayed with it for several years and later decided after retiring from her regular job that it wasn’t something she wanted to continue doing.
No pressure.
No damaged relationship.
No awkward Thanksgiving dinner because I had followed up with her 47 times about becoming a distributor.
That’s how I believe these conversations should happen.
If You’re Not Recruiting Friends and Family, Who Do You Recruit?
This is where lead generation completely changes the equation.
Instead of asking:
“Who do I know?”
start asking:
“Where are the people who already want what I can help them accomplish?”
If you’re serious about network marketing, I believe you should build a network—or more specifically, an email list—of people who are already involved in network marketing or are actively interested in it.
But there’s another important piece.
I wouldn’t necessarily attract those people by constantly pitching them your network marketing company.
I’d attract them by helping them solve the problems they already have.
Stop Leading With “Join My Opportunity”
Imagine someone has already joined a network marketing company they love.
They like the products.
They believe in the company.
They’re excited about the compensation plan.
But they’re struggling.
They can’t generate leads.
They don’t know how to recruit.
Their prospects aren’t converting.
They don’t know how to build an email list.
They’re uncomfortable on social media.
They don’t understand how to follow up.
Now imagine that person comes across your video:
“How to Generate Leads for Your Network Marketing Business Without Chasing People.”
That’s something they actually want.
Compare that with:
“Why My Network Marketing Company Is Better Than Yours!”
Which conversation do you think they’re more interested in having?
When you’re pitching another network marketer directly, things can get messy very quickly.
My products are better than yours.
My compensation plan pays better.
My company has better leadership.
My opportunity is newer.
My company has been around longer.
Very few people win those arguments.
Instead, help the person build the business they’re already excited about.
That’s attraction marketing.
Sell the Tools Before You Sell the Opportunity
This has been an important part of my business philosophy for years.
If you’re targeting network marketers, offer them something they already need:
Tools, training and knowledge that can help them become better marketers.
Teach them how to generate leads.
Help them build an email list.
Show them how to follow up.
Teach them a traffic strategy.
Help them understand marketing.
You can earn upfront affiliate commissions when people purchase useful tools or training without requiring them to join your network marketing company.
Meanwhile, something else is happening.
You’re building a relationship.
You’re helping them.
You’re demonstrating that you understand the problems they’re experiencing.
Over time, you become an authority they know and trust.
And occasionally, someone will decide:
“I’d rather work with this person.”
Now the conversation about your network marketing company is completely different.
You didn’t chase them.
You didn’t convince them their company was terrible.
You didn’t win an argument about compensation plans.
They came to you.
There Is One Situation Where Leading With the Opportunity Can Work
I’m not saying you can never advertise a network marketing opportunity directly.
If you’re targeting people who are actively looking for a home-based business or an opportunity to make money online, they’re raising their hands too.
They’ve essentially said:
“I’m looking for something.”
Presenting an opportunity directly to those people can absolutely work.
I built a significant portion of my early business targeting opportunity seekers.
But there are tradeoffs.
Some are simply kicking tires.
Some have never built a business.
Some don’t understand network marketing.
Some will join and quickly discover that building a business requires more effort than they expected.
When you target existing network marketers through tools, training and useful content, you’re potentially attracting someone who already understands the industry.
They may already believe in residual income.
They may already understand compensation plans.
They may already know what an upline and downline are.
They may even have marketing experience.
Finding people like that can dramatically accelerate the growth of an organization.
But again, they’re probably not looking for another opportunity when they first find you.
They’re looking for help building the one they already have.
Help them first.
“But I’m Brand New. What Could I Possibly Teach?”
This is a legitimate concern.
You joined network marketing three weeks ago.
You haven’t made a fortune.
You don’t know how to generate leads yourself yet.
How are you supposed to teach somebody else?
My answer is:
You shouldn’t pretend to know something you don’t.
Instead, connect people with people and resources that do know.
This is one reason I believe having access to a good tools-and-training platform can be so valuable.
Suppose you enroll someone into your network marketing business today.
You’re learning YouTube.
The person you enroll hates video but loves Facebook.
Do you now have to become a Facebook expert so you can teach them?
What if the next person wants to learn paid advertising?
Now you need to master that too?
That’s not scalable.
Instead, imagine having a training platform where experienced, successful marketers teach multiple lead-generation strategies.
You plug your new person into the same training you have access to.
They choose the strategy that fits them.
And something interesting can happen in network marketing that doesn’t happen in most traditional businesses:
Someone you enroll can become better at this than you are.
They might learn faster.
They may be better at sales.
They might love making videos.
They might build a team much larger than yours.
And because of the leverage built into network marketing, their success can contribute to yours.
You don’t need to be the smartest person in your organization.
You need a system that helps people develop skills without requiring you to personally teach everything.
Recruiting Strangers Doesn’t Mean Becoming a Pushy Salesperson
There’s another misconception here.
People hear “generate leads” and imagine replacing annoying their friends with annoying strangers.
That’s not what I’m talking about.
Most of my communication with leads today would be educational.
Help people.
Answer questions.
Share experiences.
Teach lead generation.
Explain email marketing.
Talk about mistakes you’ve made.
Show people what’s working and what isn’t.
Your network marketing company can still be available.
You might occasionally send a promotional email about your opportunity or products.
You could have information about the opportunity available on your blog.
You might occasionally include a short P.S. in an email mentioning where someone can learn more.
That’s very different from:
JOIN ME! JOIN ME! JOIN ME!
Most of my heavier promotion would actually be directed toward the tools and training that can help the person build whatever business they’re currently pursuing.
There’s another advantage to this.
If someone eventually decides to join your network marketing business, you’ve already been teaching them.
They’re not starting from zero.
They may already understand lead generation.
They may already be building an email list.
They may already understand follow-up.
You’re potentially enrolling someone who knows how to work.
That’s considerably more valuable than simply adding another name to your team.
Why Learning Lead Generation Changes Your Fear of Rejection
This may be one of the biggest differences I’ve personally experienced.
When you have a list of 100 friends and family members, every person feels important.
You call your cousin.
He says no.
Now you have 99.
You call your coworker.
She says no.
Now you have 98.
Every rejection shrinks your remaining opportunity.
That can create tremendous pressure.
And because you actually know these people, rejection can feel personal.
Lead generation changed that completely for me.
There were periods when I was generating 50–100 leads every single day.
When I talked with someone through email or on the phone and they decided the business wasn’t right for them, it didn’t bother me.
They weren’t rejecting me.
They were deciding that a particular opportunity wasn’t right for them at that particular time.
That’s okay.
I knew more leads were coming tomorrow.
And I knew another signup was probably right around the corner.
That creates a completely different mindset.
Abundance makes rejection much less important.
Instead of trying to convince every person to join, you can simply find the people for whom the opportunity makes sense.
But You Still Need to Develop a Business Mindset
Lead generation doesn’t eliminate every challenge.
You can generate highly targeted leads and still hear no.
People will still quit.
People will still change their minds.
Some people will join and do nothing.
Others will discover that entrepreneurship simply isn’t for them.
Network marketing may have a dramatically lower barrier to entry than opening a traditional brick-and-mortar business, but it’s still a business.
That means mindset matters.
My original sponsor understood this too.
Along with teaching me lead generation, he introduced me to personal development and people such as Jim Rohn and Zig Ziglar.
That was valuable because I had spent most of my life with an employee mindset.
Employees are generally told when to arrive.
They’re told what needs done.
They’re told when they can leave.
Someone else provides the structure.
Entrepreneurship requires you to develop more self-direction.
Nobody forces you to make the video.
Nobody forces you to write the article.
Nobody forces you to follow up with your leads.
You have to develop that discipline yourself.
So I’m not suggesting that generating targeted leads makes network marketing effortless.
It doesn’t.
What it does is give you the opportunity to spend your effort talking to people who actually have a reason to be interested.
You Don’t Need Everyone to Join
This is another mindset shift that comes with generating leads.
Not everybody has to say yes.
Not everybody who says yes has to stay forever.
Not everybody who joins is going to become a leader.
Some people will love the products and never build the business.
Some will make a little extra money.
Some will quit.
Some may surprise you and build an organization much larger than you expected.
That’s okay.
Your job isn’t to force everyone to become successful.
Your job is to create a consistent flow of targeted people, help them understand what’s available, provide good tools and training, and let people make their own decisions.
That’s another reason quantity still matters alongside quality.
The better targeted your leads are, the better your odds.
But you still need enough people entering your world for the numbers to work over time.
What I Would Tell a Brand-New Network Marketer to Do Instead
Suppose you just joined a network marketing company.
Your sponsor hands you a sheet of paper and says:
“Write down 300 people you know.”
What would I tell you to do instead?
I’d concentrate on three fundamentals.
1. Pick One Lead-Generation Strategy
Don’t try seven things at once.
YouTube.
Blogging.
Facebook.
Paid advertising.
Whatever legitimate strategy fits your personality, budget and goals.
Pick one.
Learn it.
Give yourself enough time to become competent at it.
Don’t try something for five days, get frustrated, jump to another method, and repeat that cycle for the next year.
Eventually you need enough experience and data to say:
This works. I should scale it.
Or:
I’ve genuinely learned and tested this, and it isn’t the right strategy for me.
There’s a huge difference between making that decision based on evidence and making it because you became impatient.
2. Build a Capture Page
Once you’re generating traffic, don’t immediately send everybody to your company’s replicated website.
Capture the lead first.
Offer something relevant enough that the person is willing to give you their email address to get it.
Now you’re building your own asset rather than simply sending traffic to somebody else’s.
3. Use an Autoresponder and Build Your Email List
Once someone becomes a lead, follow up.
Continue helping them.
Send useful information.
Build the relationship.
Occasionally introduce relevant products, tools, training and your opportunity.
I’ve experienced firsthand how valuable an email list can become.
During years when health problems severely limited my ability to work and my fresh lead generation declined dramatically, the email list I had already built continued generating income.
That’s why I consider lead-generation ability my biggest marketing asset and my email list a very close second.
You Don’t Need to Chase People to Build Network Marketing
If someone asks me today:
“How do I recruit for network marketing without bothering my friends and family?”
my answer is simple.
Stop looking at your friends and family as your prospect list.
Learn how to generate leads.
Get in front of people already searching for the problems you can help them solve.
Teach.
Create useful content.
Build an email list.
Develop relationships.
Provide tools and training.
And allow the people who are genuinely interested in your opportunity to raise their hands.
If your mom asks what you’re doing, tell her.
If your friend loves your product, share it.
If your coworker tells you he’s desperately looking for a way to earn extra income, there’s nothing wrong with having a conversation.
That’s natural.
But don’t confuse a natural conversation with a marketing strategy.
Your friends and family can be part of your life without having to become the foundation of your business.
And This Is Where the Bigger Network Marketing Problem Begins
Learning how to recruit outside your warm market solves a major problem.
Suddenly, you’re no longer limited to the few hundred people you happen to know.
You can potentially reach thousands of targeted prospects.
But that creates another question that I think is even more important:
What happens after you learn how to recruit them?
Because generating more leads and enrolling more people doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll generate the income you’re expecting.
I learned over the years that you can work incredibly hard building a network, help recruit a large organization, and still discover that the economics of the compensation plan require far more people than you originally imagined.
That’s why I eventually became interested in combining two things:
Meaningful upfront income and long-term residual income.
Instead of depending entirely on building a huge network before the money becomes meaningful, what if the tools and training you’re already providing could generate substantial upfront commissions while you build your network marketing business in the background?
There’s a free guide I’ve been sharing that explains exactly why I became so interested in that model.
It shows how one marketer went from building a team of approximately 600 people while earning around $1,200 per month to earning approximately $7,200 per month with a team about one-tenth the size.
If you’ve been told that the answer to making more money in network marketing is simply talking to more people, recruiting more people and building a bigger team, I think you’ll find the numbers particularly interesting.
Because maybe the answer isn’t figuring out how to convince 300 friends and family members to join you.
Maybe it’s learning how to attract the right people—and making sure the business model you’re putting in front of them makes mathematical sense in the first place.
Click the button below to get the free guide and see the numbers for yourself.
